Is there anything more exciting than the countdown to Christmas when you’re growing up? Slowly opening the advent calendar, one by one. Wondering how Santa manages to get all around the world in just one night. Hoping you’re on the nice list and not the naughty list. It’s a magical time, and can often be made all the more magical by a good movie.
When researching Christmas movies of the ’90s, we realized there were some we hadn’t actually seen, lost to the spirits of Christmas past — and, um, for good reason. Still, there were a few unexpected hidden gems in the mix as well that may get added to our annual holiday movie binging. So let’s get to it — our definitively subjective ranking of Christmas movies of the ’90s.
Looking for the ’80s instead? We got you: Ranking the Christmas Movies of the ’80s
Now, you’d think with the pedigree involved with Mixed Nuts, it would have to at least be decent. Nora Ephron co-wrote and directed the movie, which stars Steve Martin, Rita Wilson, Juliette Lewis, and a whole host of random co-stars and people that have cameos that are fairly well-known now. But it’s really not even decent. It’s over the top, slapstick at times, and honestly for the 30 minutes that we could stomach it, had no real direction of where the story was planning to go, other than to corral a bunch of random characters together and hope for the best. There’s a reason you’ve likely never heard of this movie.
Nicolas Cage stars alongside Dana Carvey and Jon Lovitz in Trapped in Paradise, a movie about a trio of brothers who rob a bank in a small town, and then can’t seem to get out of town with the money, instead becoming charmed by the local folk. On the surface, it sounds like it could be a decent movie, and the bones are certainly there. But it does NOT deliver! The comedy is ridiculous, and Nic Cage’s character just does not have enough development – they could’ve done just a couple tiny tweaks and it would’ve worked so much better.
Does this movie know what it’s even about? That’s the question we were asking ourselves as we attempted to watch it. Whose story is it, and who should we be caring about? Honestly, you should really know that pretty quickly into a movie, and though the film is called The Preacher’s Wife, she barely had a presence in the 30 minutes we made it through. You’d think that with Denzel Washington and Whitney Houston it would be worth watching, but alas — it just did not deliver.
Maybe when you were a kid you liked Jingle All the Way, a movie about a neglectful dad trying to get the hottest toy for his kid (played by Jake Lloyd, the young Anakin in The Phantom Menace) on Christmas Eve, but we promise you, if you liked it back then, it does not hold up. The action is so over-the-top and slapstick, it’s just downright ridiculous. Arnold Schwarzenegger tries his best to carry this crapfest, but the only redeeming bits are, quite frankly, when Phil Hartman stops by as the smarmy single dad neighbor. There’s even a whole sequence where Arnold literally flies through the sky with a jetpack. This movie becomes one looooong redundant action sequence.
We never saw All I Want For Christmas back when it first came out in 1991, but after giving it a watch now, it’s a shame that it doesn’t get more airplay and recognition. Is it an amazing movie? No. But it made us want to keep watching, particularly since it features ’90s staples Ethan Embry and Thora Birch as the lead siblings trying to get their parents back together over Christmas Eve. That said, some of the dialogue is pretty silly, and the story is a lot of rich white kids in New York shenanigans. But, if you just want a little light bit of fun, give it a try.
Okay, yes, the story here may be a Christmas classic. But do you ever actually want to watch Miracle on 34th Street during the holidays? No. Why? It’s boring. There, we said it. For those who don’t remember, the plot revolves around a lawyer and a little girl (‘90s child star Mara Wilson) working together to prove that a man claiming to be Santa Claus is the real deal. It’s about learning to believe in things, blah blah.
Erstwhile ‘90s heartthrob Jonathan Taylor Thomas stars in I’ll Be Home for Christmas, a Christmas movie about, I think, a college kid trying to get home by 6pm on Christmas Eve in order to get his dad’s prized Porsche – only he’s been left in the desert in a Santa suit and nothing else. To be honest, we here at Retropond had never seen this movie back when it first came out, thinking it was supposed to be bad, but actually, it’s pretty decent. Sure, it can be dumb and nonsensical at times, but the humor is there, with some genuine laugh out loud moments.
If you like Home Alone, then you should like Home Alone 2. Why? It’s the same movie, just in a different place. While Kevin was actually at home by himself in the original, in this sequel he gets his own hotel room suite to himself when he accidentally ends up in New York without his family. Look, it really is the same. Hijinks with the Wet Bandits, a mysterious seemingly scary person who turns out not to be scary at all, Kevin learning that he really does want to be with his family during the holidays, all that, just with the addition of the Talkboy and some scene stealing from Tim Curry as the suspicious hotel concierge.
The classic Charles Dickens tale of Ebenezer Scrooge learning the meaning of Christmas and becoming less of a, well, scrooge, got the Muppets treatment in the ‘90s, with Kermit as Bob Cratchit, Gonzo as the narrator, Waldorf and Statler as the Marleys (a slight variation from the original which just had one Marley), Miss Piggy as Bob Cratchit’s wife, Fozzie as Fozziwig (Mr. Fezziwig), and Michael Caine as Scrooge. There are a lot of different versions of the classic story to choose from, and The Muppet Christmas Carol is certainly a good contender for children, especially if they like the Muppets.
You might be thinking to yourself – is this a Christmas movie? If you just looked at the movie poster, you probably would not think so, it makes it look like it takes place over the summer or something. But no! While You Were Sleeping very much takes place in the period between Christmas and New Year’s, features gatherings for Christmas, and decorations abound throughout. A sweet romance starring Sandra Bullock and Bill Pullman, the film is filled with humor. If you haven’t seen this romantic comedy, get on it, it’s underrated!
For those who like their Christmas movies a little less traditional, there’s the stop-motion animated classic The Nightmare Before Christmas from Tim Burton. Now, a lot of people absolutely adore this film. And yes, it’s visually impressive with very memorable characters, but we have to ask – do you actually enjoy the story as well? It’s a great achievement with its visuals and effects, and you still see merchandise for it today — the film even has a Haunted Mansion transformation at Disneyland each year! But for us, it lacks that little something extra that makes you want to rewatch a movie each year during the holidays… or maybe it’s just us?
The Santa Clause featured Tim Allen during the height of his Home Improvement fame as Scott Calvin, a salesman who accidentally kills Santa and finds out that he now must take up the mantle. Though some of the movie is spent in the actual North Pole with all of the elves and the traditional notions of Santa and such, a good bulk of the movie is spent during the year in between the initial Christmas and the next one, with Scott slowly turning into Santa over the year as he must come to grips with this new responsibility, which is where most of the comedic fun comes in. There’s also a whole story about Scott connecting with his son and his ex-wife thinking he’s crazy. Overall it’s just a fun movie that is leaps and bounds better than its sequels, which are frankly not worth watching at all.
Ahhhhhhhhh, this movie’s the best! John Hughes wrote this Christmas classic, with Christopher Columbus at the directing helm. Add in Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern, Catherine O’Hara, and John Candy, and you’ve got a winning combination all around. Home Alone was really every kid’s fantasy realized – getting to be home by yourself, doing and eating whatever you want. Oh, and foiling some burglars with some very advanced booby traps. You know, typical. But any kid who grew up in the ‘90s will likely count this as their favorite Christmas movie, and we here at Retropond have to agree.
What’re your favorite Christmas movies from the ’90s? Let us know in the comments!
- Home Alone grossed $476.6 million worldwide, and for a while held the record for the highest-grossing live-action comedy ever, but eventually was eclipsed by The Hangover Part II.
- In the original version of The Santa Clause, Scott’s ex hands him a piece of paper with her husband’s mother’s phone number on it, and he pretends to read it aloud as: “1-800-SPANK-ME. I know that number.” When a kid tried calling the number and it turned out to be real, subsequent releases of the film from 1999 onward had the line removed.
- Disney was originally supposed to release The Nightmare Before Christmas under Walt Disney Pictures, but changed it to their adult-oriented film label Touchstone Pictures as they thought it was too dark and scary for kids.
- The Muppet Christmas Carol was the fourth film to be produced in The Muppets franchise, and the first one produced after the death of creator Jim Henson.
- For Home Alone 2, Macaulay Culkin was paid $4.5 million compared to $110,000 for the original, which at the time was the highest salary paid to an eleven-year-old child actor. Also, the Talkboy in the movie wasn’t real, but was created after the film by Tiger Electronics.
- Home Alone grossed $476.6 million worldwide, and for a while held the record for the highest-grossing live-action comedy ever, but eventually was eclipsed by The Hangover Part II.
- In the original version of The Santa Clause, Scott’s ex hands him a piece of paper with her husband’s mother’s phone number on it, and he pretends to read it aloud as: “1-800-SPANK-ME. I know that number.” When a kid tried calling the number and it turned out to be real, subsequent releases of the film from 1999 onward had the line removed.
- Disney was originally supposed to release The Nightmare Before Christmas under Walt Disney Pictures, but changed it to their adult-oriented film label Touchstone Pictures as they thought it was too dark and scary for kids.
- The Muppet Christmas Carol was the fourth film to be produced in The Muppets franchise, and the first one produced after the death of creator Jim Henson.
- For Home Alone 2, Macaulay Culkin was paid $4.5 million compared to $110,000 for the original, which at the time was the highest salary paid to an eleven-year-old child actor. Also, the Talkboy in the movie wasn’t real, but was created after the film by Tiger Electronics.
